Why We Blame “Evil AI” Instead of Abusive Men: Deepfakes, Misogyny and the Cost of Looking Away
- Lætitia
- 6 days ago
- 5 min read
The convenient villain: “evil AI” and the rich CEO
Every time a new scandal breaks about AI deepfakes or non‑consensual porn, the same narrative appears: the “evil AI tool” with “no guardrails” and the “reckless billionaire CEO” who must be stopped. Of course, companies must be regulated, tools must have strong safety barriers, and legal frameworks need to evolve. But there is a crucial question that almost disappears in this storyline: who is actually choosing to create, share and laugh at these images?
AI does not wake up one morning and decide to sexually humiliate a woman, a teenage girl, or a child. Men do. Groups of friends do. Classmates do. Anonymous users in private channels do. When the public discourse focuses almost exclusively on the tool and its owner, it becomes extremely comfortable for the real perpetrators to stay invisible, unchallenged and unaccountable.
How mass manipulation hides the real aggressors
The fixation on technology and CEOs is not neutral. It serves several convenient purposes:
It transforms a question of violence into a question of software
It turns a pattern of abuse into a story about innovation, policy and regulation
It protects the image of “ordinary men” by suggesting that the real danger lives in machines and billionaires, not in our culture and our relationships
This is a classic mechanism of mass manipulation: direct attention to a spectacular villain (AI, the rich CEO, the “rogue algorithm”) so no one has to look at the ordinary, everyday cruelty of people who treat others’ bodies and dignity as entertainment.
As long as the public conversation stays stuck on “evil AI”, the deeper questions are avoided:
Why are so many men entertained by humiliating images of women and children?
Why do peers, colleagues and classmates share or tolerate this content?
Why are victims still asked to “stay calm” and “not make a drama out of it”?
Emotional repression and the training of boys
To understand this, it helps to look at how many boys are raised.
In many cultures, men are:
Encouraged to suppress “vulnerable” emotions such as fear, sadness, shame or grief
Rewarded for dominance, control, detachment, “banter” and appearing unaffected
Ridiculed or punished when they show sensitivity, empathy or emotional pain
When a human being is consistently taught to shut down emotional awareness, something has to happen to all those feelings. They do not disappear; they are redirected:
into numbness and disconnection
into addiction, workaholism or compulsive behaviours
into anger and aggression, especially towards those perceived as “weaker”
In that context, the suffering of others stops being real. A girl crying because of a deepfake porn video becomes a “meme”, a “joke”, a “story to tell”. For many men who have never learned emotional regulation, violence becomes stimulation. It’s something that makes them feel powerful, excited, less empty.
Violence as mainstream entertainment
Once violence is normalised emotionally, it becomes a form of entertainment.
We can see this in:
The popularity of videos where people are humiliated, shamed or destroyed online
The casual sharing of leaked nudes, revenge porn and deepfaked images “just for laughs”
The way school, workplace or group chats become spaces where harassment is a bonding activity
This is not an accident. We live in systems that:
Sexualise and objectify women and girls relentlessly
Associate masculinity with domination, conquest and emotional coldness
Reward “savage” humour and humiliation with social status and attention
In this environment, non‑consensual deepfake porn is not a glitch of AI. It is a logical extension of a culture that already treats women’s bodies as consumable content and women’s pain as irrelevant.
This does not excuse anything. But it helps explain why so many people can participate in or tolerate such abuse without feeling like they are doing something monstrous. Their empathy has been systematically numbed.
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The devastating impact on victims
Behind every “funny” AI‑edited image there is a nervous system going into shock.
For victims—especially women and children—the impact can include:
Intense anxiety, hypervigilance and loss of safety, both offline and online
Shame, self‑blame and body‑based trauma (“My body is not safe anymore, even in images”)
Depression, dissociation, social withdrawal and suicidal thoughts
Damage to reputation, career, family relationships and community belonging
Victims of deepfake porn and image‑based abuse are not “overreacting”. Their boundaries have been violated in a profound way. Their image has been weaponised against them.
In trauma terms, this is an attack on identity, dignity and belonging.
When society says “the real problem is the tool” and barely names the people who chose to create and share the abuse, it often amplifies the victim’s internal narrative: “I am invisible. My pain doesn’t matter. No one is really angry at what they did to me.”
Why blaming only the tool is so dangerous
"Swallow your rage and shut up..."
Focusing only on the AI tool and its owner may feel satisfying in the short term, but it has serious consequences:
It reinforces the idea that harm is inevitable as long as the tool exists, instead of confronting the choice to harm
It allows perpetrators to hide behind tech narratives, regulations and corporate statements
It sends victims the message that the system cares more about political theatre than about their lived reality
Regulating AI is necessary. Strengthening guardrails is necessary. But without naming the human responsibility—especially male responsibility—in this pattern of abuse, we are not solving the problem, just changing the interface.
What to do when you witness this kind of violence
If you witness non‑consensual sexual images, deepfakes, bullying or humiliation online, you are not powerless. Here are trauma‑informed steps you can take:
Do not share, save or comment “for context” Even if your intention is to criticise it, every share increases the reach and the harm.
Name clearly what is happening Use words like “abuse”, “harassment”, “image‑based sexual violence”, not just “drama” or “gossip”. Naming the behaviour breaks minimisation.
Support the victim, not the spectacle If you know the person, reach out privately, without pressure: “I saw something online that concerns you. You don’t have to respond, but you’re not alone and there are ways to act if and when you’re ready.”
Report the content on the platform Use reporting tools and categorise it correctly (sexual content, harassment, image‑based abuse, child safety if relevant). It may feel small, but multiple reports matter.
Document, then delete In some cases, screenshots with URLs and timestamps can help future legal or administrative action. After documenting safely, remove the content from your own devices.
Challenge the “jokes” When someone sends this content in a private chat, say something simple and clear: “This isn’t funny. This is abuse.” You don’t have to start a debate; sometimes one boundary is enough to unsettle the group norm.
Share resources If you work with communities, schools or organisations, share articles, helplines or guides on deepfake abuse and image‑based sexual violence. Normalise conversations about consent and digital respect.
Take care of yourself Witnessing this kind of violence can also be distressing. If you feel activated, anxious or triggered, step away, ground your body, and seek support. Your nervous system also deserves care.
A different narrative: centering responsibility and healing
If we want a safer digital world for women, girls and children, we need a different narrative:
Yes, demand strong regulation and safety guardrails for AI tools.
Yes, push for legal consequences for companies that ignore blatant abuse.
And also, consistently recognise that deepfake porn and online humiliation are chosen behaviours, rooted in emotional repression, misogyny and a culture that treats violence as entertainment.
AI is an amplifier, not a soul. The core problem is not an “evil” machine. It is humans who have been taught to disconnect from their emotions and who turn other people’s bodies and pain into a playground.
Changing that starts with how we talk, what we tolerate, and how bravely we stand beside victims instead of watching from a safe distance.
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